Can You Hear Me Now? |
Posted: September 17, 2016 |
Can You Hear Me Now? Are you that person who thinks you can listen AND do other things? Like phone chat, text, watch TV, etc. Sure, you listen...but do you “hear”? Listening is NOT a multi task behavior. [I call this half listening.] When someone makes the choice to confide in you about their struggles, it requires your full attention. Eye contact. Head nodding. Being awake. It takes courage for anyone to confide in someone. And it takes your full presence to hear what they’re saying.
Here are some listening tips: Acknowledge their feelings. No need to awful-ize or expand or comment. Keep it simple. “I can hear you are struggling right now.” Validate their feelings. People have a right to feel however they want-- a right often denied as a child. Be careful not to slip into “at least you have [x]..” or “it’s not so bad”. The feeling isn’t the problem --the problem lies in the expressing [or not] of the feeling. Thank them for trusting you enough to share. Assure them you will keep things confidential. Be a safe harbor in the storm. If you really want to give someone strength...give them your ear.
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