Meet Mrs. Fix-it |
Posted: October 27, 2016 |
Meet Mrs. Fix-it
As a counselor and coach, it's easy for me to fall into the Fixit Mentality...you know...not only are you a mess, but I'm the one who's gonna help fix your mess.
Nice of me, huh?
If you ever hear anything like that from a "helping professional", I've got one word for you, Peaches:
RUN.
You're not a chunk of clay that needs to be molded and shaped. What I know you are, is, a magnificent human being who needs acceptance and love, from ourselves and God.
Ever think that being consumed with a need to work on ourselves creates an anxious state? It increases a self-vigilance which sabotages growth.
Like a plant that needs sunshine and water, people grow when conditions are supportive. Growth will happen as we allow the support of self-acceptance and gentleness. Self-acceptance brings a kindness to the hurt places inside.
Y'no, I've yet to see a struggling person who is kind to themself.
We don’t need to work on ourselves when experiencing the hurt. We simply need to create a loving, accepting space. Oh, so what do I do with all the "crap" in my life?
See it for what it is--- fertilizer for the soul. In fact, embracing our "fertilizer", noticing our feelings and hearing what they might be trying to tell us is a good practice. As Wayne Dyer said, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
Sometimes you're not fighting your past, you're fighting yourself.
Next time emotions and challenges arise, don't resist them, ignore them or deny them. Instead say to yourself: "I hear you. I love you. What is it you want to tell me?"
The path forward is to allow ourselves to be just as we are now — and allow ourselves to flow with our human experience.
Psychologist and meditation teacher Tara Brach offers a helpful inquiry in her book True Refuge:
“Explore what you are experiencing more closely, calling on your natural interest and curiosity about your inner life. You might ask yourself, ‘What about this most wants my attention’? or, ‘What wants my acceptance?’ Pose your question gently, with your inner voice kind and inviting.”
What helps us to grow, evolve, and develop is self-awareness. We may be searching for “self-improvement,” but personal growth happens through a process of self-acceptance, after awareness.
Eyes wide open,
Annie
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