Are You Having Fun Yet? |
Posted: November 20, 2014 |
Are You Having Fun Yet? Do you know what fun feels like? This isn't a rhetorical question... If you say, "Sure I know...fun feels good, Silly Rabbit!" Yeah..I'm gonna go ahead and stop you right there. I agree; fun feels good. But feeling good does not necessarily mean you're feeling the fun. And yet that's often what we tell ourselves. I ask about this because I think we can confuse emotions--especially if it was never ok growing up to express what you were honestly feeling. Go with me on this. Let's use sex.... We're having sex, sex feels good so we're having fun, right? Maybe...... allow me to get more personal. Did sex "feel good" for me? I thought so. I can see now [sadly] that my feeling good was very little about meeting any physical need and more about satisfying an emotional need. See, if you invited me to a free dance class being offered by a master teacher from the NY ballet, I would jump up and down. Total fun! Why didn't I jump up and down for sex? It was missing the fun. ------------------------------------ Want to check if something registers on your Fun Barometer? Work backwards. What's your response if the activity DOESN'T happen, or gets cancelled, etc. ? Are you disappointed? If yes, good chance fun was involved. Back to my sex life....using this little checklist is when I realized it wasn't as fun as I told myself. If it fell through, I was rarely disappointed, usually ambivalent and often relieved. Wow. Not good for either partner. Don't stop at feeling good. Go all the way to fun. Here's a few giggles to get you started.
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